Sugar Blossom

The Keys To An Irresistible Appearance

Now that you’ve learned how to control your attitudes and man­nerisms, ask yourself whether your appearance is creating a favor­able impression or not.

You’ve worked to acquire the bearing of a monarch, a charming voice and a bewitching gaze. Perfect! But now’s not the time to sit back and stop. There are two more elements which also play a funda­mental role in forming not only the image you have of yourself, but the one you present to other people as well.

These two elements are your body itself, and its material enve­lope - in other words the clothes you wear.

“Why,” you ask, “should I be concerned with those aspects if it’s true that physical beauty doesn’t have much to do with charisma?”

Good question! Let’s look at this line of reasoning.

Charismatic persons are not necessarily gifted with the physique of Greek gods. The radiate an inner charm which is not dependent on a pleasing exterior to be effective. On that we agree.

However, magnetic charm is subject to a need for “corporeal com­fort.” To charm others, you first have to feel good about yourself.

We repeat that when a person feels good about him or her self, it’s because he has accepted his physique, whatever shape it may be. If you haven’t accepted yours, there must be something about your appearance that you don’t like, which prevents you from liking -and accepting - yourself.

What?

That’s what you’ll find out.

What’s wrong with your body?

Step one: identify your physical defects.

Find a room where you won’t be disturbed, get undressed and stand in front of your full length mirror. Inspect your body. What’s wrong with it? Be merciless. Make a list of the things you don’t like about your body.

Don’t be surprised if the list isn’t very long. This is probably be­cause in the past you tended to exaggerate the importance of one or two physical defects, to the point of believing that you hated your body.

Now that you know exactly what you find displeasing about your body, look for the solutions to your problems.

For example, plastic surgery can rectify most imperfections, from a bumpy nose to overly large breasts.

If you have a recurring skin problem, don’t consult a dermatolo­gist (who will likely treat only the symptoms and not the cause) but rather a general practitioner, who will perform a battery of tests and then recommend you to an endocrinologist, or a neurologist, or a di­etitian etc. as your case requires.

Uneven or stained teeth can be corrected by a specialist. An opti­cian can help you choose glasses that suit you better. A beautician can determine what type of hairstyle compliments your face best. For each problem there’s a solution.

Next to each problem or imperfection, write down the solution that, in theory, seems best.

IMPERFECTIONS SOLUTIONS

Step Two: the moment of truth

There are two possibilities open to you:

-accept the imperfection

-apply the solution

“That doesn’t leave much of a choice!” you say.

But it does.

Think hard about what you’ve written down. Analyze each prob­lem and each solution calmly. Here’s an example of the kind of rea­soning you should adopt:

“Am I ready to undergo plastic surgery, which can be costly and painful, to change my nose (or get rid of the bags under my eyes, or enlarge my breasts, etc.)?”

“Am I prepared to wear braces for months or even years in order to adjust the position of two or three teeth?”

“Am I prepared to wear tinted contact lenses all day long because I don’t like the colour of my eyes?”

“Am I prepared to spend a half day at the hairdresser’s every week or two weeks, in order to maintain my new hair colour and style?”

If you decide that your minor defects are not important enough to warrant the intervention of a specialist, then make up your mind once and for all. From now on you have no reason to complain about an imperfection because you’ve voluntarily, and in full awareness, chosen to accept it. Tell yourself:

I accept this imperfection.

On the other hand, if you feel ready to undergo the inconveniences-financial and other - associated with the solution, then don’t put it off. Don’t look for any false pretexts, like “I haven’t got the time right now…” or “I haven’t got the money.” Time and money don’t count for much when the success of your whole life is at stake!

A physical defect is no longer a defect as soon as you are able to accept it. And you can rest assured that if you accept it, other people will accept it too.

Your smile, your benevolent attitude, the friendliness in your eyes, the suppleness and elegance of your movements - qualities such as these are more than enough to make people forget about the size of your nose, or a few premature wrinkles, or the way your ears stick out a little, or the faded colour of your eyes or your dull hair.